Cyclist knocks 0.3 seconds off commute with skintight lycra bodysuit

A CYCLIST has achieved a new personal best by commuting to work in a skintight lycra bodysuit that shows the exact outline of his groin. 

Acquisitions manager Julian Cook triumphantly strutted around his office in the £150 suit, designed for elite athletic performance, after beating his own record.

He said: “Knocking a full 300 milliseconds off my performance gives me that bit longer to get settled and working, as I was explaining to Marie while she stared fixedly at her screen.

“Judging by the wide-eyed expressions around the department everyone was equally impressed, especially during my warm-down stretches.”

Colleague Emma Bradford said: “I now know exactly what my 52-year-old boss looks like naked and panting.

“They shouldn’t just sell lycra to everyone. You should need a prescription.”