Friday, 30th October 2020

Face masks make me look stupid, says man wearing Crocs

A MAN who leaves the house in brightly coloured plastic clogs refuses to wear protective face masks because he thinks they make him look stupid.

Tom Booker has been wearing shiny green Crocs in public since 2006 without any sense of embarrassment, yet cannot don a piece of cloth or paper over his mouth without exposing himself to dangerous ridicule.

Booker said: “I have a keen eye for style, and there’s no way a face mask would fit with the rest of my wardrobe, which includes a number of Hawaiian shirts and Alpaca chullos.

“Also there’s nothing quite like feeling the wind rush through your toe hair as you hit the town in a pair of oversized plastic shoes. Every time I wear them out people stop and stare in amazement. You don’t get that with face masks.

“If they somehow found a way to make face masks look as dignified and elegant as Crocs, I could be tempted. Perhaps the boffins should prioritise that over looking for a vaccine?”

Bystander Stephen Malley said: “I thought shoes like that were already for people with a serious medical problem. You’re not telling me he chooses them?”