Freddy Krueger targeting sleep-deprived workers

OVERWORKED Britons are proving a rich hunting ground for vengeful spirit Freddy Krueger.

Britain’s ‘long hours culture’ has enabled the disfigured, supernatural maniac to claim more victims by entering their dreams when they nod off at work.

Krueger said: “Terrorising knackered office workers makes a nice change from American teenagers, which is a bit of a dead end anyway because there’s always a feisty one who works out how to defeat me.

“Yesterday I murdered a data entry drone called Kevin by going into his dreams, shrinking him to tiny size, putting him in a data field in spreadsheets, and closing the file without saving.

“Tomorrow I’ve got my eye on his colleague Susan. She does a two-hour commute so I think I’ll cook her in an oven when she gets home and falls asleep in front of the Bake Off.”

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Miley Cyrus's tongue growing uncontrollably

MILEY Cyrus’s tongue will soon be three times longer than her body, experts have warned.

The child-star-turned-pop-tart’s tongue began to extend because of overuse as she believes sticking it out is sexy, but it is now growing by more than six inches per day.

A source close to the star said: “She’ll soon have to start wrapping it around her head like a turban.

“I’ve tried telling her that’s not very sexy but she just uses the tongue to strangle me while lifting me three feet off the ground.

“She then throws me into the corner of the room while the tongue grabs a live badger from the tank and drops it into her gaping maw.”

Celebrity zoologist Martin Bishop said: “There’s no reason to be surprised by this hideous transformation. Her father Billy Ray caught and ate dozens of redneck women using his prehensile ponytail.”