Friday, 7th May 2021

Friends meeting in park fail to recognise each other

TWO friends who arranged to meet up in the park have been having problems recognising each other due to their overweight, unkempt appearances.

Emma Bradford planned to have a socially-distanced picnic with colleague Francesca Johnson over the weekend but instead the pair wandered around unable to spot each other for over an hour.

Johnson said: “I walked past the mad old woman with grey hair three times before I realised it was Emma.

“It turns out spending nine weeks watching telly and not looking in the mirror gives you the kind of vacant stare you’d usually associate with people who enjoy drinking meths.”

Bradford said: “I was freaked out when this rotund bag lady called my name. Fran is usually so glamorous I never would have dreamed she’d come out wearing jogging bottoms, a cardigan and Crocs.

“She told me she’s trying a new relaxed approach to life, but it was abundantly clear that she actually can’t squeeze into any of her old clothes because she’s suffering from a severe case of lockdown arse.”