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Birdsong, embroidery and other simple joys that are shit compared to the pub

BRITONS are returning to wholesome pursuits such as listening to owls hoot and sewing quilts with the enthusiasm of people who have given up on the idea of fun. Try these: 

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'I understand the f**king plot of the f**king film' woman gently reminds husband

A WOMAN has politely reassured her husband that she can follow what is going on in the film by herself, thank you very f**king much.

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