Thursday, 15th April 2021

'Good luck' everyone aged between 0 and 49 told

BRITONS aged below 50 have been wished the best of luck in dealing with a virus they will not be vaccinated against for f**king ages.

Everyone in the 0 to 49 age bracket has been given a big thumbs-up by the government and reminded that there are only a few months or years of their Covid ordeal left to slog through.

A Downing Street spokesperson said: “Having buggered up PPE and now the vaccine rollout, we’ve been left with no alternative but to offer the young and middle-aged positive vibes.

“The concept of good luck will be totally alien to anyone who has grown up under Tory rule. But if you dig deep and turn that frown upside down, you might just forget about our ineptitude before the next election.

“Although having said that, striding around with misplaced optimism will probably send the R number skyrocketing. So maybe stick to the familiar misery for a little while longer.”

42-year-old Wayne Hayes said: “This is excellent news. I’ll get back to lying on the sofa feeling depressed and worrying about losing my job with a new sense of optimism.”