DAVID Cameron has set up a Cabinet committee to decide if ebola is a bad thing.
The prime minister urged people not to panic and stressed that viruses like ebola are exotic and intriguing.
He said: Its all too easy to demonise a virus that melts your insides.
Mr Cameron said the government would set up a large, interactive map which would chart the spread of the disease and make it much easier to spot any interesting clusters.
He added: Lets give it a month.
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: Viruses tend to spread quicker in areas of high population density and sub-standard housing conditions. They tend to affect the sort of people who have poor nutrition, compromised immune systems and have yet to notice an increase in their spending power, despite Britains robust economic growth.
So, you know, wash your hands.
Downing Street said the ebola committee will be made-up of chancellor George Osborne and the hunched maniac who brings him his cheeseburgers.