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How to weigh yourself then take your bathroom scales to a remote forest and bury them where they will never be found

STEPPED on the bathroom scales, then managed to glimpse their evil numbers over your gut? Here’s what to do next: 

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I own everything with my face on, and four other laws the Queen pushed through

THE Queen is strictly neutral on all matters political, except for when she chooses not to be. Here are five of the thousand laws Her Majesty has vetted for parliament: 

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