Thursday, 29th October 2020

Irritating woman not content with just one sneeze

A WOMAN has decided that doing a single sneeze is not bringing her nearly enough attention.

Charlotte Phelps, who routinely sneezes up to eight times in a row, knows it annoys her family and freaks out strangers but is not prepared to stop being so annoying.

Phelps said: “One sneeze might get people to look at you, especially if you do one of those extra-loud explosive ones, but once they look away it’s all over.

“However, doing eight or nine in a row really makes a huge deal of it and forces people to stare at me. I don’t seem to be able to hold their attention with my conversation or wit, so I’ve got to find another way.

“And now that coronavirus has happened, it works even better. Even with a mask on, doing several sneezes in a row in the middle of Tesco will really make you centre of attention.

“The other day someone even said ‘Bless you’. Or maybe it was ‘F**k you’. I don’t mind either way.”