Friday, 10th July 2020

Man going for run at lunchtime like a f**king Marine or something

A MAN is heading off on lunchtime runs as if he is training to join the Royal Marine Commandos even though he works in an office. 

Steve Malley, aged 27, is neither a member of an elite fighting force nor a professional endurance sportsman but still sets off grim-faced for a run at 12pm like he is proving something.

He said: “Yeah sure, I could sit around at lunchtime stuffing my face with crisps and gossiping like the rest of these schlubs.

“But what can I say? I love to feel the burn. And my body thanks me for it.

“If one day, shortly before lunch, I receive a call telling me my family are being held hostage in a farmhouse 30 minutes away, the roads are being watched and I need to get there and save them, I could make it. Can anyone else here say that?”

Colleague Helen Archer said: “What’s he going to do next, put a rucksack full of bricks on first? Smear his face in animal droppings and hide in a hedge?

“Maybe he could use some of his gritty determination to have a shower after the run. It would make our afternoon meetings far less pungent.”