Man pretending exercise regime not about getting laid

A MAN is claiming that his exercise regime is about something other than sex.

25-year-old office worker Tom Logan pretends that he visits the gym for health reasons: “My goals are to maintain joint flexibility and reduce the risk of heart disease in later life. It’s definitely not to get big muscles so women will have sexual intercourse with me.

“I just want to be healthy, and what better way to do that than by exercising only my chest and biceps with massive weights while guzzling spoonfuls of synthetic protein out of a tub.”

Personal trainer Martin Bishop said: “To achieve his actual goal of regular heterosexual intercourse, I advise Tom combines obsessive bench pressing with a dangerous cocktail of steroids, and attends a yoga class where he is the only man.

“Also cage fighting could be good because it’s really macho and some women like going out with psychos. However it can be harder to pull if you’ve had your nose bitten off.”