Man still thinks he’s slim

A MAN who has put on a fair bit of weight over the years still sees himself as a slim, attractive 20-something, it has emerged.

44-year-old Stephen Malley believes he has the physique of his younger self, despite many years of eating takeaways in a comfy chair and ever-increasing shirt sizes.

Malley said: “Sure, I’m a bit larger than before but I don’t think it’s noticeable if I stand up straight and don’t tuck my shirt in, which admittedly is a bit distressing.

“I certainly don’t let it stop me chatting to attractive younger women. If anything they seem to be more into me and really want to tell me about their problems.

“A few naysayers have hinted I’m a bit chunky now, but that’s just because I’m always standing in the wrong light, or I’ve got too many layers on.

“To be honest it doesn’t matter if I’ve put on a few pounds because my new skinny jeans are a workout in themselves.”

Friend Wayne Hayes said: “Stephen’s unshakeable self-belief would almost be inspiring if he wasn’t so obviously destined for an early, chub-related death.”