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Middle-aged gig marred by entire audience needing a piss every five minutes

A GIG largely attended by the over-50s was only slightly marred by the entire audience spending most of it servicing their bladders. 

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Woman who has dumped useless boyfriend in market for exact replica

A WOMAN who has split up with her hopeless loser of a boyfriend is searching for a new man who is functionally identical, she has confirmed. 

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