Middle-aged people ask ‘Generation Sensible’ what it’s like having sex sober

MIDDLE-AGED people have asked the younger fitness-obsessed generation what sex is like when you aren’t drunk.

Joseph Turner, 58, did not think sex was possible without the aid of wine, scotch and a packet of dry roasted peanuts for energy.

Turner said: “Alcohol helps my wife believe she’s with Daniel Craig and not a man who subscribes to Classic Car magazine.

“And with Chardonnay’s help my wife looks like Catherine Zeta Jones and not the woman who constantly nags me for a better conservatory.

23-year-old Susan Traherne said: “We don’t actually have sex because we’re too busy either at the gym or worrying about house prices.

“If we were to have intercourse it would purely be for reproductive purposes, or as part of some incredibly depressing ‘five year plan’.”