NHS to get fat people to hospital using trail of Wotsits

THE NHS is to improve its performance in getting fat people to hospital by deploying long trails of Wotsits.

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Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly, As far as I was aware, it’s a woman’s basic human right to take tea breaks every half hour whilst at work, plus several minutes preparatory time to boil the kettle and open the biscuits, and then a period of wind-down to wash the cups and take a leak. However, my boss has suddenly taken exception to this and is ranting some codswallop about productivity and down-time. He needs to be put in his place but the only problem is that I’m far too busy to make a formal complaint about him, especially since Janine in admin has started bringing in home made brownies. Can you suggest a swift and effective way we can exercise our rights without interrupting our conversations about Cheryl Cole?Patricia,Nottingham

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