THE decline of smoking has left many Britons unsure when sex has finished.
80 per cent of the population are now non-smokers, with many now finding lovemaking confusingly open-ended.
Susan Traherne of Reading said: Without sparking a fag theres no way to draw a line between the sweaty beasts you were a moment ago and that nice couple who keep their garden neat.
Technically the following day is still sex time so I cant put proper pyjamas on, hes still holding farts in, the whole thing is just so awkward.
“I now class my commute, working day and lunchtime sandwich as intimately post-coital.”
Office worker Roy Hobbs said: “Sex without cigarettes is like one of those American TV shows that gets cancelled at the end of the second season.
“Like that cowboy one with Ian McShane in it, it just stops rather abruptly. I need closure, dammit.”