Office worker doesn’t like to measure her coffee intake in pints

AN OFFICE worker has announced that she would rather not consider the amount of coffee she drinks in pints because it would sound rather grim.

Susan Traherne does not mind telling people that she drinks ‘about 10 cups of coffee’ a day because it makes her sound like she’s dynamic, unlike saying she drinks five pints of coffee a day as that sounds a bit worrying.

She said: “God, I couldn’t get through the day without, oh, at least 10-20 cups of coffee.

Though, if I was to say that differently, like that I need eight pints of coffee a day or I genuinely feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown that just makes me sound in need of an intervention. It also gives you some idea of how often I need the toilet.

I was thinking about swapping the coffee for energy drinks. Then I realised that was like swapping lager for vodka so I didn’t see the point.”