Oh no darling, will you have less holiday? say straight-faced parents

PARENTS have reacted to school summer holidays being cut to five weeks with an outpouring of feigned sympathy. 

Mums and dads across the Barnsley area have expertly pretended to commiserate with their disappointed children who must go back to school a week early.

Father-of-three Tom Booker said: “That is such a terrible shame, because I know you had really big plans for the summer.

“We were going to build that den, and draw that story you wrote about the Ewoks having a birthday party, and then of course there’s those long, long games of football where I’m in goal and not allowed to save.

“Mummy and Daddy will miss you though, just like we miss you every night when you go to bed and we only have each other for company.”

Son George Booker said: “I reminded him that it means I get two weeks in October and his face went really slack, like it does when I tell him Granny’s coming to stay.

“Poor Daddy. Maybe if I hit him a lot with a lightsaber it would cheer him up.”