Thursday, 13th May 2021

Queen finally realises she is ruler of a country of twats

THE Queen has finally realised that she is the head of state of a country of selfish, credulous dickheads. 

After 69 years ruling Britain it has taken a pandemic and widespread vaccine refusal for Her Majesty to at last understand how unbearably dense her subjects are. 

She said: “Oh. So it’s that simple. The people of Britain are, by and large, arseholes. 

“I suppose the evidence was always there, but I chose not to see it. I focused on the positives. I preferred to believe the best of you. 

“But when a virus has killed 122,070 people in this country alone, even though we’ve been locked down for a year, and a vaccine is available, and you’re choosing not to take it because of an idiot osteopath on YouTube, I regret the conclusion is inescapable. 

“All these years I’ve been representing Britain on the world stage. I’ve met five Popes. And all that time they were pitying me, a bright, capable woman, monarch of an island of thick wankers.” 

She added: “Abdicate? And leave Charles in charge? The last thing we need is a twat leading the twats.”