THE county of Kent has informed Boris Johnson that he has aroused its wrath and must therefore relinquish his position.
The announcement of the new tiers, with picturesque Kent villages placed in Tier 3 due to no more than a handful of miscreants, has forced the county’s hand.
Alderman of Kent Denys Finch Hatton said: “We’ve been bracketed with Manchester. With Newcastle. With Slough. Mister Johnson, this will not stand.
“Sir, a libertine and a liar you may be, but you are of the right stock so your excesses have been tolerated until now. But Kent? What were you thinking, man?
“Do what you will to London. Surrey, and even Suffolk, are their own affair. The Garden of England, however, will not be besmirched by a mere mountebank.
“I advise you to have your valise packed by the front door of Number 10. And if you fail to do right by our county, you will be ejected forthwith.
“Come New Year’s Day I and the Ashford Valley Tickham Hunt shall mount up, ride out and see you torn apart by our hounds. It is no less than what you have earned.”