BEING an idiot is the most effective method for avoiding anxiety, research has found.
After discovering that many Britons suffer from anxiety issues, experts now believe the best solution is to be totally ignorant of any threats and assume everyone thinks you are great.
Psychologist Donna Sheridan said: “Most people are anxious about everything from Trump to terrorism and climate change to whether people like them, whereas idiots are unaware there might even be a problem.
“We found the people least likely to be worried about terror attacks are those who do not even know ISIS exists thanks to only reading Yahoo! News articles about Maya Jama’s hair.
“True idiots are rarely anxious at all, because if something bad happens like them needing a triple bypass from eating lard butties they assume it’s just ‘health Nazis’ overreacting.”
32-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “I don’t suffer from anxiety because it’s another of those namby-pamby made-up illnesses like depression, which you can cure by pulling yourself together.
“I never obsess over whether I’ve said or done the wrong thing in social situations, because normally I can’t remember anything after a night out with my mates.”