Friday, 7th May 2021

Teeth an endless, expensive ball-ache

MAINTAINING a healthy set of teeth is a painful lifelong struggle that will leave you massively out-of-pocket, it has emerged.

People with teeth have criticised the way they break, make your gums hurt and how they have created jobs for scary dentists who make you pay through the nose just for a check-up.

Teeth user Nathan Muir said: “First they fall out, then the big ones grow in wonky. Who designed these things? Not the guy who made the iPod, I bet.

“It would be much easier if we all had beaks instead of pearly whites. Plus mums and dads would save some pennies by binning the whole tooth fairy schtick.”

Fellow teeth owner Nikki Hollis said: “Sharks have loads of teeth and they never go to the dentist. Maybe it’s because they can’t drink Coke underwater.

“I asked my dentist what she thought but she didn’t understand. Mind you she was giving me a root canal at the time. Which proves my point about how bad teeth are.”

Tooth Wayne Hayes said: “I am high maintenance and I will ruin your f**king life.”