ANYONE 30 and over invited to be vaccinated has been told they are still not getting affordable housing, free higher education or stable jobs.
The relatively young are only being rushed through jabs to safeguard homeowners who vote Tory and should not read too much into it, the government has confirmed.
An NHS spokeswoman said: “Calm down. We haven’t gone soft. This isn’t the start of a long overdue quality of life improvement for young people. We’re purely looking after our electorate.
“This is a one-off occurrence of you enjoying decent treatment like your parents and grandparents. You’ll be back to shit sandwiches before they know it, as nature intended.
“Don’t be fooled into thinking you’ll get the opportunities and social mobility that previous generations took for granted. We’ve pulled the ladder up behind us and that’s that. This is an entirely selfish gesture.”
Ryan Whittaker, aged 31, said: “This announcement is a real weight off my mind. For a second there I was worried that I would be treated like a valuable human being.”