Wednesday, 5th August 2020

We've waived our completely made-up fee that pays for literally nothing, say gyms

GYMS are generously waiving the £125 joining fee they usually charge for absolutely nothing, they have confirmed. 

Gyms across Britain are fighting the obesity epidemic by dropping the fee, which usually pays for the time it takes for a bored receptionist to enter your details and take an ugly photo, until the end of January.

Owner Tom Logan said: “We feel a patriotic duty to do our bit. Until the end of January.

“The signing-on fee is a big chunk of change. We’re losing a lot here. It barely covers our operating costs as is.

“If I get 150 new memberships and they all come six days a week, using all the equipment, taking multiple classes and relaxing in the aqua spa afterwards, I’ll regret my act of charity.

“But if it means Britain gets healthy then Kayla on front desk, one of the top 16-year-olds in her position in the municipality, will get her enormous renumeration for doing her highly skilled job from my own pocket.”

Logan encouraged customers to sign up as fast as possible noting that the offer was time-limited, and in February he would only be doing two months free.