Monday, 25th May 2020

Single man considering third item of furniture

A SINGLE man is considering getting a third piece of furniture to go with his television and armchair. 

Nathan Muir, aged 28, has been living in his flat for eight months and believes that, despite the expense, it may be worth investing in an occasional table to rest his beers on. 

He said: “I don’t like a lot of clutter. But this tower of Blu-Rays I’ve been using for five months has toppled three times, and I’m running out of Fabreze for the carpet. 

“It might interrupt the clean minimalism of the flat’s layout, but when I said that to my mate Jordan he said that the piles of magazines and shit already did that so I needn’t worry. 

“I don’t need a proper table because I eat leaning on the kitchen counter and I don’t need any other chairs because Jordan’s fine on the floor, so that’ll be it. 

“The only problem is I’ve no idea where to get one. I'll ask Kev at the mini-market.” 

Muir added: “I’m not going fancy or anything. I still don’t see why when you’ve got a mattress you need a bed.”