Woman 'living in moment' finds that unfortunately it is connected to other moments

A WOMAN’S attempts to ‘live in the moment’ have been disrupted by the arrival of other moments.

30-year-old Susan Traherne was using mindfulness techniques to be fully present while eating an orange, when the garage phoned with bad news about her car.

She said: “I was totally ‘present’, concentrated on the task at hand without crowding my mind with memories of the past or worries about the future.

“Then the phone rang and it was the garage saying I needed a new radiator and it would be £400. Suddenly I was freaking out, thinking ‘shit, shit, shit’. Now I’m out of the good moment and in the new, bad moment.

“So that’s the problem with moments. They are only a moment long, and because time moves in a line other stuff happens that does your head in, like ten minutes after that when I burned some toast.

“You aren’t supposed to worry about the future but it does tend to arrive whether or not you want it to.”

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Relatives planning strange behaviour for Christmas

BRITAIN’S relatives are preparing a range of strange and annoying behaviours for their Christmas visits, they have revealed.

Uncles, cousins and grandparents intend to antagonise hosts with activities including nosing around, irritating food requests and heating-based weirdness.

Uncle Roy Hobbs said: “When I visit my sister’s family for Christmas I’ll definitely be asking to look at their boiler for some reason.

“When there’s a good Pixar film on I’ll insist on watching an obscure programme about trout fishing I’ve discovered on Freeview. I don’t even like fishing.

Grandmother Mary Fisher said: “I’m staying at my daughter’s for a few days, so there’ll be plenty of time for ‘helpful’ things like rearranging the kitchen cupboards.

“I also have an interminable bedtime ritual involving changing into a housecoat and doing things with creams, so I hope they’re not planning to use the bathroom at Christmas.”

Her husband Norman said: “I’ll be taking my grandsons on a long country walk, scaring them shitless with rubbish about ghosts and bringing them home on the brink of hypothermia.”