Woman working hard on winter body

A WOMAN who ate a doughnut in the middle of the night is making her body an appropriate shape for the season.

Emma Bradford is aiming for the perfect ‘winter body’ in time for the colder weather by eating a shit-ton of fatty things and getting nice and chubby.

Bradford said: “It stands to reason that if you’re meant to have slim body for the summer, then you need to have a warm layer of blubber for when it’s chilly.

“It has meant changing the way I eat, but I’ve made a handy menu planner that tells me when to replace lettuce with a sausage or quinoa with two packets of Space Raiders.

“My aim is to outgrow my clothes by Christmas and realise my dream of wearing a slanket to the office party.”