America warns that if UK quits Europe it will probably invade

THE US will probably invade Britain if it leaves the EU, according to senior White House sources.

Current and former US Treasury secretaries have confirmed that Brexit would be followed by drone warfare, airstrikes and a ground invasion to install a US-friendly regime. 

Treasury secretary Tim Geithner said: “It’s nothing personal. It’s just what we do. 

“You’ve got oil, the tribal leaders in Scotland and Wales are locked out of the democratic process, and your despotic ruler viciously abuses his own subjects while living in the lap of luxury. 

“We’d go for a UN resolution first, then destroy the symbols of the tyrant’s regime like Buckingham Palace and Westminster, then move in on the ground. 

“After that you get a few months of looting, then a puppet government, and usually within the year public order has broken down completely and it’s street warfare and three decades of intermittent bombing.”

Norman Steele of Portsmouth said: “I reckon I’ll become a militia fighter. They always seem to be having fun in jeeps.”