Sunday, 16th May 2021

Cockroaches following Iran story with growing interest

THE NEXT dominant species on the planet is following the news from Iran with growing interest.

Cockroach Wayne Hayes, who sees himself as a potential world leader after the fall of humanity, said: “There's a lot of potential in all this and I’m totally glued to the BBC’s live news feed.

“Like most humans I do not understand what is going on, but the words 'nuclear' and 'confrontation' in block capitals suggest that it's bad.

“Or good, if you’re a dynamic, evolved insect species ready to emerge from the ashes, start doing a bit of basic agriculture with tame worms and build things up from there.”

However female cockroach Mary Fisher said: “I don’t like the way Wayne’s gotten so into this. His antennae are twitching uncontrollably with excitement. It's unseemly.

“I think humans are okay. Squeamish to the point of idiocy, but essentially fine.”