BEASTLY common people in Magaluf are simply horrid, it has been claimed.
The island is currently overrun with nasty, vulgar working class people who are either rutting, punching each other or jumping up and down to so-called ‘grime’ music.
Sensible middle class person Emma Bradford said: “It is horrible, just horrible. I feel sorry for the poor locals, who would probably rather be running small handicrafts shops than massive nightclubs with eight-figure turnovers.
“Look at them all, with their big necks and Ralph Lauren polo shirts. I’d recommend we don’t let them back in the country except I need some manual labourers to build an extension on my house.
“The teeming mass of oiks will tonight descend on the Booty Palace nightclub for a performance by MC Squonky and DJ Beastface, or something dreadful like that. Then they will ride mopeds around being frightening.”
Dentist Tom Booker said: “They seem to have this twisted idea of fun that involves getting drunk and having sex, rather than renting a farmhouse in Tuscany and quietly nibbling local cheeses.
“The girls are fit though.”