CORNWALL will today celebrate its new minority status with an unstoppable deluge of fresh cream.
The county has been granted official EU recognition for its persistent weirdness, in what campaigners hope is the first step towards extremely unusual independence.
A Cornish Nationalist spokesman said: “We envisage a country where people will pay £2m for a pokey house with a tiny garden built on the side of a hill, but with a spectacular view of the approaching rain clouds.
“We will hate those people passionately and they will hate us, but we will all eat cream together.“
Meanwhile, enormous cream lorries are winding their way through the Cornish countryside, with the first due to arrive at its destination in October 2017.