Dubai still best holiday destination to get locked up for no f**king reason

DUBAI is still absolutely the best place to go if you want sun, luxury and to be imprisoned for life by a kangaroo court, say travel experts. 

Seasoned traveller have recommended the United Arab Emirates for its amazing architecture, billionaire lifestyle and draconian legal system which could see you locked up for literally nothing.

Travel blogger Joseph Turner said: “Sun, sea, supercars and sentences of ten years for unknowingly offending a minister’s cousin’s cousin; Dubai’s got it all, baby.

“Whether it’s drinking alcohol on a plane, kissing a woman on a beach, being falsely accused of homosexuality or being Grooverider, you’re in chokey spending your life savings on bribes that don’t even work.

“I don’t see why anyone holidays anywhere else. Imagine being a boring tourist in Italy without that thrilling edge of possible fraudulent conviction. It wouldn’t be worth going.”

Foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt said: “We do everything possible to secure the release of British nationals imprisoned in the UAE without offending their sensibilities, which as it turns out are very easily offended.

“So, nothing.”