Dunkirk-style mission to leave stranded migrants where they are

A FLOTILLA of brave of volunteers will sail to Calais and then sail back with no migrants on board.

Their aim is to rescue nobody whatsoever from absolutely desperate straits.

The ‘little ships’ will arrive in the French port, indicate in sign language to bedraggled refugees that Britain is absolutely full up, then return home with plenty of space on their vessels.

Tom Logan, 54, from Dover, organised the mission after he read an article about the Second World War.

Logan said: “There’s been talk of sending the army but they’re fully committed at the moment, appearing at Premier League half time presentation ceremonies.

“So I decided to whip up a local volunteer force. We’ll row across the English Channel with one aim in mind; to tell these poor, sodden wretches to piss right off.

“They need to pack up their troubles and go back to the hellholes that Britain absolutely did not help to create in the first place.”