ENGLISH viewers were unable to watch last nights Scottish independence debate, including the moment Alex Salmond tried to bite Alistair Darling on the face.Mr Salmond has powerful jaws but no upper-body strength
The debate was broadcast in Scotland only, but a live internet stream was offered to the tens of millions of English people who are fascinated by Scottish politics.
Just minutes into the debate the live stream failed, leaving English fans unable to enjoy a wide range of topics including currency, oil revenues and extra-terrestrial invasion.
But the key moment came when first minister Alex Salmond stopped mid-sentence, ran across the stage and tried to bite Mr Darlings cheek.
The former chancellor managed to grab the SNP leader by the head and force him backwards and the two men tussled for a few seconds until the debates moderator fired a gun over his head.
Mr Salmonds spokesman insisted: “We won. Alistair Darling had an incredibly negative approach to what was an optimistic and aspirational attempt to bite him on the face.”
But Julian Cook, professor of politics at Roehampton University, added: “I suspect a large number of SNP supporters will be slightly concerned at Alex Salmonds inability to defeat Alistair Darling – a man who once lost a debate to a washing machine.”
Meanwhile, English viewers also missed the two men closing the debate in the traditional Scottish fashion by sacrificing an albino horse.