Europe reassures Britain it has been a laughing stock for decades

IN a move to allay fears that Brexit had damaged Britain’s reputation, Europe confirmed the country has been a pathetic laughing stock for ages.

An EU spokesman said: “For decades, centuries even, you’ve been regarded as that cold, shitty country full of drunk people who don’t know how to use sunblock.

“And your food is actually worse than America’s.”

The spokesman added: “The whole of Europe has long regarded your parliament as a playpen for elitist man-babies braying at each other.

“Please, don’t be worried. You couldn’t have made it worse.”