France condemned as petty, jumped-up country obsessed with protecting its borders

FRANCE hates foreigners and thinks it is better than neighbouring countries, it has been claimed.

After British holidaymakers were left queueing in Dover, France was widely condemned for its divisive and childish attitude to the transit of foreign people and goods within Europe, which is making life needlessly difficult for everyone.

Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “What sort of place adopts such a pernickety, isolationist attitude?

“This is absolutely typical of the French, with their bloated national pride and weird belief that they are some sort of world power.

“As part of a modern, globalised economy, you’d think they’d be less obsessed with superficial geographical boundaries and tired notions of patriotism, instead adopting a more liberal approach to the ‘outsiders’ who are in fact bringing them skills and money.”

He added: “My wife’s just had to urinate into a tropical flavour Oasis bottle.”

The Daily Mash in your inbox
privacy

Young offenders sentenced to two weeks at service station on the M6

TWO youths convicted of selling cannabis in Wolverhampton have been sentenced to a fortnight at Hilton Park services on the M6.

Magistrate, Roy Hobbs, said the experience of spending 14 days amid the smell of all-day breakfast, the bickering of married couples, the screeching of toddlers and the music of the Fireman Sam ride would be ‘immensely harsh but fair’.

Hobbs further warned that if either of them came before him again he would not hesitate to have them detained in a Cumbrian Centre Parc ‘at Her Majesty’s pleasure’.

The sentence was condemned as inhumane by the Howard League for Penal Reform who drew attention to a recent European Court of Human Rights ruling that the sentencing of a Tyneside joyrider to a week standing by the ball pool in Gateshead Ikea was illegal.

But Hobbs insisted: ‘This is just one of the reasons I voted for Brexit. We in Britain have a long tradition of using motorway service stations and airports as correctional facilities. How do you think all those spotty reprobates in shell-suits got to be hanging around the duty free toblerones at Gatwick?”