Gaddafi welcomed by online forums

LIBYAN leader Colonel Gaddafi has been offered sanctuary by the internet’s legion of keyboard warriors.

'Well, hello MuhammarCalrissian99'

A coalition of 9/11 conspiracy theorists, crop circleologists and everybody who’s ever clicked ‘like’ under a Daily Mail news story has offered to shelter the middle-east’s premier genocidal Tom Jones impersonator.

IT consultant Wayne Hayes, operating under the online name Sheeple69, said: “He’s been reliably Icke for years but the recent troubles have really seen him stretch himself into whole new realms of join-the-dots-motherfucker-ness.

“I moderate a forum where every member is assigned one of the 486 frames of the Zapruder footage of the JFKKK – yeah, I said it – assassination.

“Unfortunately, as founder of the site I had to take frame 1, which is a bit dull, but on the lefthand side of the frame you can see a shadow which looks like Castro in profile.

“Anyway, I think the Colonel would fit right in with the guys, so long as he starts dropping a few more Hitler references.

“He just needs to pass the entrance exam, which is a 35,000-word essay on why the head of every major financial institution has a tattoo of L Ron Hubbard on their arse.”

Gaddafi has yet to comment on the offer as he is currently assembling a Powerpoint presentation proving that Um Bongo spiked with brown acid is being air-dropped by US troops over towns in a plot to make Libyan teenagers think their leader is actually a pissed lion wrapped in a bedsheet.