THE prime minister has reassured Britain he has carefully studied acturial tables charting death rates before making a deal with the EU.
Starmer told the nation he has gone over the figures of lives lost in the last five years, projected them forward to 2029, and after adjusting for heavy drinking, smoking and anti-vaccine beliefs we should be fine.
He said: “There are those who will view extending Boris Johnson’s fisheries deal as an indefensible assault on British sovereignty. But they are fewer every day.
“The Daily Express readers are up in arms about this and frankly that tells its own story. It has induced rage – red-faced, heart-racing, short-of-breath rage – in a particular demographic that I’m not worried about pleasing long-term.
“We have already lost so many of the 52 per cent that brought us Brexit, the Greatest Generation as they believed themselves, and by the next election we will lose yet more. Numbers-wise this should work out.
“And if you’re a younger Brexiter who backed it to cut immigration, consider: did that work out or are you the dickhead? One to ponder.”
