Friday, 14th May 2021

I'm not a racist, so why am I being weird about Derek Chauvin's conviction?

By Roy Hobbs

I’M not a racist, but I feel a strange need to try to undermine Derek Chauvin’s conviction for something he clearly did. Did I mention I’m not a racist, by the way?

Now that I’ve established how racist I am not, let’s look at the facts of the case. Derek Chauvin was reaching out to the black community and saying ‘I don’t just arrest white criminals, I will forcibly restrain you too’. To me that’s diversity in action. 

Then, purely by accident, Chauvin killed someone. This was utterly wrong, obviously, but everyone makes mistakes. I’m not saying it’s on the same level, but I almost ran over my neighbour’s cat when I was reversing out of the drive. Does that make me an attempted murderer? No.

Why, Roy, you might ask, are you so interested in defending Derek Chauvin when you live in a small village in Worcestershire and have no understanding of decades of racial tension in the United States?

That’s simple: I have a natural sense of justice, whether you’re black, white, yellow or purple. Which once again establishes my non-racist credentials, just so long as they don’t move in around here.

Now a hard-working police officer is facing life in prison on the flimsiest of evidence. Can we really be sure that the whole thing wasn’t a false flag operation by a BLM activist wearing a ‘whitey’ mask? I can’t say for certain; I don’t have all the facts.

All we really know about this tragic incident is that I’m definitely not a racist. I think Daley Thompson did a smashing job at the Olympics, so case closed.