Sunday, 8th December 2019

Irish making offensive jokes about the thick-as-pigshit English

IRISH people are increasingly joking about how unbelievably stupid the English are, they have confessed. 

The new wave of English jokes began midway through 2016 and have only intensified over the last three years, with many of the particularly cruel ones beginning ‘Did you hear about the Englishman with a plan to solve the backstop?’

Tom Logan of Dublin said: “Aah, they’re not racist. They’re just a bit of fun.

“They’re just things like ‘A notice went up saying 'Tree fellers wanted’ and three Englishmen turned up, but a Pole had already done it so they voted to punch themselves in the face until they were unconscious instead.’

“A lot of the best revolve around this comical halfwit called Mark Francois. But he’s such an exaggeration of the xenophobic numbskull, nobody could take them seriously.”

Norman Steele of Dorking said: “Yes, it's tempting to laugh but such laughs demean the English and perpetuate the idea that we're an island race of self-important simpletons.

“We don’t want the rest of Europe viewing us as a nation of gammon-faced, finger-jabbing, Daily Mail-swallowing, fact-averse morons.

"Fair enough, half of us are. But the rest of us see ourselves, on our day, as just as good as the Irish, Welsh and Scots."