It should be me f**king you over, Trump tells Britain

PRESIDENT Trump has condemned the Brexit deal because it means Britain is being fucked over by the EU rather than the US.

Trump, who sees the UK as a valuable future market for chlorinated chicken, hormone-crazed pigs, synthetic opioids and assault rifles, has urged May to swap her deal with the EU for a serious American shafting.

He added: “You’ll be a third world country, right? We like those. If you pick the wrong leader the CIA can help with a new one. They’ve got years of practice.

“Plus you’re halfway between us and Russia, great for refuelling, and you won’t be covered by international law which is very useful. Really useful. You won’t believe how useful.

“Forget the EU. Trust your Uncle Donnie, who’s been boasting about screwing over anyone he’s ever made a deal with for the last 30 years.”