POPE Francis has filled in the lengthy forms for Mother Teresa’s ‘miracles’ to be approved by Jesus.
The Pope, who described the process as ‘a pain in the balls’, finally completed the 240-page application, complete with signed witness testimony and photographs, late last night.
He said: “When one of the cardinals said ‘Hey, let’s make Mother Teresa a saint, she was wicked holy’ I was like, why not?
“I thought I could do it online, but four hours later the printer was still churning out this gigantic bastard. And it all had to be handwritten in black ink.
“And you have to get medical evidence, proof of prayer and birth records showing that everyone involved was a Catholic.
“What the fuck?”
The Pope added: “Now I just bung the whole thing up the chimney, like a letter to Santa, and see what happens next.”