POPE Francis tried to bottle the Queen yesterday after a comment about Henry VIII sparked a fight.
Previous royal visits to the Vatican have been conducted on an ‘agree-to-differ’ basis, but the monarch was goaded when the Pope made an offhand comment about her vast wealth.
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: “One minute they were exchanging gifts and the next they were wrestling on the ground with Prince Philip holding back the cardinals telling them ‘they had to work this shit out’.
“Neither had time to take their rings off, so when they’d finished their faces looked like five pounds of raw mince.”
The Pope greeted the Queen by asking if she had enough money yet and the Queen replied that Henry VIII could have got ‘quickie divorce’ by bribing Pope Clement VII with a carriage full of altar boys.
After a brief silence the Pope broke the bottle of Balmoral whisky he had been given and lunged at her.
The spokesman added: “His holiness was pretty handy but he’s messing with somebody who once put Robert Mugabe in a choke hold.”