Salmond accuses JK Rowling of sorcery
SCOTTISH National Party leader Alex Salmond has accused JK Rowling of casting demonic mind-spells.
As the Harry Potter author gave £1m to the pro-UK campaign, Salmond said she was a ‘voodoo wizard’ adding: “As we have long suspected, these books are based on a true story.”
Rowling hit back, saying that Salmond was minimising the risks of Scottish independence, while stressing that was a ‘fairly straightforward statement’ rather than a ‘wizardy incantation’.
But Salmond replied: “It is the spell of ‘reasonablacorum’. And did you notice that when she said it, she sounded a bit like a snake?”
Pro-independence campaigners backed Salmond, claiming that in her past evil lives Rowling was a slave who collaborated with the Confederacy and a Nazi spy who reported directly to Joseph Goebbels.
Martin Bishop, from Fife, said: “And now she slithers among us, with her darting tongue and massive, unpatriotic houses.
“I still like the films though.”