ALL words relating to curves have been reclassified to exclusively refer to women’s breasts.
The mathematical model of a curve, used to refer to any line which is not straight, has been replaced by a model/actress in a low-cut dress.
A spokesman for the Oxford English Dictionary said: “We’re simply following popular usage.
“When I described the road to my house as curvy and the delivery driver said ‘I’m sorry, do you mean it has massive tits?’ I knew we’d crossed a threshold.
Its happened before: today, assets once again refers to financial worth, but for the entire 1980s it meant tits. As did charms. As did love missiles.
The change has caused chaos for economists, physicists, airline pilots and architects all of whom are being repeatedly reprimanded for constantly talking about breasts in the workplace.
Mid-market tabloid journalist Carolyn Ryan said: I can literally redefine reality. If I start calling tits party balloons, a thousand childrens birthdays are suddenly uncomfortably sexual.
Now I really must get back to work. Kim Kardashian has worn a dress.