THE people of Scotland have admitted to the secret love they have for the English.
After their rugby team handed England the Six Nations trophy as a token of their affection, the nation said they could hide their feelings no longer.
Scottish person Tom Logan said: “We have wars with them, we beat them up in Edinburgh pubs, but it’s all just a front for how much we adore them south of the border.
“The way they drink their tea, their delicate womanly frames, all the cricket – we’ve been deeply smitten for hundreds of years but have been too scared to express ourselves.”
As Tim Visser scored Scotland’s third try against France, touchline cameras picked up that he mouthed the words “This is for you, Buckinghamshire”.
The team later celebrated the win in the changing room by loudly singing ‘Doing The Lambeth Walk’.
Logan added: “This is why we get upset when they make the joke about Andy Murray being Scottish when he loses – we just wish he was as dreamy as Tim Henman.”