THE MARRIED couple sent to Mars will have a falling-out when they miss the planetary turn-off, it has been claimed.
Multimillionaire Dennis Tito is seeking a husband-and-wife team to undertake a journey to the Red Planet.
However experts are predicting trouble when some inevitable space-map reading problems mean they overshoot Mars by several hundred million miles.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The likely scenario is that space husband will be piloting the controls in a self-consciously manly fashion while the space wife navigates using a map to which she is not giving her full attention.
“She’s semi-realised they’ve gone wrong but doesn’t say anything because space husband already seems to be in a bit of a mood.
“The husband will be like ‘look, it must be that planet on the left’, by which point the wife has a terrible sinking feeling but decides to keep quiet because all these planets are pretty similar after all and maybe he won’t notice.
“But of course it turns out to be the gas planet Jupiter, so they can’t even land and stretch their legs. Space husband will be like, ‘this is just fucking brilliant, isn’t it?’
“Suddenly they’re lost, stuck in an asteroid belt, calling each other shitheads and dragging up a load of stuff from the past.”
Professor Brubaker also believes no marriage could survive several months of drinking each others’ recycled urine, unless the couple was already ‘into that sort of thing’.
He added: “Maybe they could put the piss in nice wine bottles and call it Chateau D’Amour or something, serve it with some nice powdered salmon.”