Trump finding increasingly stupid ways to tell people how clever he is

DONALD Trump is continuing to stress how intelligent he is, while finding increasingly inarticulate ways of doing of so.

Trump said: ‘I’m like a really smart person’, in what experts described as ‘meta-stupidity’.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Is the use of the word ‘like’ merely an inarticulate reflex, common among many English speakers?

“Or is he saying that he is ‘like a really smart person’, in that he shares the same attributes?

“He is essentially correct. Like many smart people, he has a nose, a pair of shoulders and a chin. Beyond that the similarities are less apparent.

“So we can conclude that he’s using the word ‘like’ in the same way that he might say, ‘I’m, like, really smart at constructing sentences’.”

Professor Brubaker added: “And, of course, it should go without saying that people who are ‘really smart’ tend not to go around pointing it out at every opportunity because it would make them sound incredibly stupid.”

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Liverpool is not a real place, claims Rupert Murdoch

LIVERPOOL is an entirely fictional city, Rupert Murdoch has insisted.

The owner of the Times and the Sun said his newspapers would never run stories about non-existent places and would instead focus on ‘real cities’ like Birmingham and Newcastle.

He added: “Liverpool only exists in films and comics, like Gotham and Metropolis.

“My newspapers do not report fiction. We pride ourselves on providing facts that have been gathered in an honourable way.

“Shoddy newspapers like the Guardian and the Mirror can write about this ‘Liverpool’ and try and hoodwink their readers into believing that it occupies a large area in the North West of England.

Sun readers are much too clever to fall for that nonsense.”