Trump state visit downgraded to top-and-tailing with Nigel Farage

PRESIDENT Trump’s visit to the UK has been downgraded from being an offical guest of the Queen to sharing a bed at Nigel Farage’s place, it has been confirmed. 

Following threats of protests which Her Majesty has gratefully seized upon as an excuse, the state visit has been reduced to two days at the former UKIP leader’s flat and complimentary crazy golf.

Farage said: “It goes without saying that I’m the tail in this scenario. He’s the leader of the free world, after all.

“I’d happily give him the sofa, but I’ve only got the one duvet and there’s nothing wrong with sharing a bed as long as we’re safely inverted so nothing can happen.

“It won’t be in the least uncomfortable, despite the liberal media elite’s claims, though I am open to negotiation if he wants to place something long and heavy between us in the bed.”

A White House spokesman said: “The President is very much looking forward to visiting the comments section of Mail Online, which he has heard so much about.”