UNDERWEAR models at the Victoria’s Secret show have wowed audiences with the eerie emptiness in their eyes.
The annual fashion show, which according to newspapers is the latest American thing that you like, saw Amazonian women parading the deadest eyes and least convincing smiles ever seen.
Attendee Tom Booker said: “Frankly I was there to leer over the boobs at this weird corporate perv-fest, but it was the eyes that stuck in my mind.
“Flawless, empty, orbs in doll-like faces. It reminded me of my nan’s open-casket funeral.
“Also there was a bra covered in diamonds worth more money than some countries and some half-hearted PG rating pseudo-lesbianism.
“As a red-blooded male I thought I would be loving all this but I actually feel a bit scarred and am quitting my job to work with homeless people.”